What? An actual NYWM story? When I woke up today, my internet was working and I decided to slap out another story while I could.
Here ’tis!
The Ninja and the Wizard Face a Dilemma
“OK, I’m pretty sure I can use my smoke bombs, fleetness of foot and take our enemy completely by surprise.”
“No, no. Allow me to conjure up a distraction that you may sneak up to our enemy and take them by surprise.”
“Isn’t that exactly the same thing I just mentioned?”
“No. In your scenario, I was merely window dressing. In my scenario, I actually partake in overcoming the seemingly impossible situation that stands before us.”
“Well, yeah. But…”
“No buts about it. You invited me to this for a reason and I am more than capable of handling myself in a scenario like this.”
“Ninjas have been trained in the most ancient forms of deadly martial arts. Secrets handed down generation after generation, in which the benefactor of said secrets must be assassinated by the recipient of our tenets.”
“Well, that seems unnecessary. How many of you operate at a time if there’s only one person responsible for teaching the art of the ninja? I can see now why you prefer to remain hidden in the shadows, because there’s barely any of you.”
“I’ll have you know I’ve taken out an entire complex on my own before. There were at least 20 people in there. Every one of them died by my hand.”
“Oh, sure. But when I can conjure up fire, ice and manipulate the basic laws of nature and defy physics in order to defeat my foes, you have to admit that I am more suited to this task than you are. I mean, if you had anything other than ninja stars, smoke bombs and poison darts I’m sure you’d be able to get us out of this scenario without a problem. But there’s a reason you needed my assistance. Allow me to throw a fireball. You will see how effective that will be.”
“Too messy. Ninjas only ever kill cleanly. No sound and as little blood spilled as possible.”
“You just said you killed 20 guys in one complex! Did you actually need to kill all of them?”
“My target was one particular man. I only needed to kill about five of his subordinates. The rest I killed for practice.”
“Practice? We wizards only kill if absolutely necessary. We would rather show off an awesome display of trickery and diversionary tactics to will our enemies into realising that they have been defeated before they have even engaged in battle. That, my friend, is a much cleaner way of disposing of your enemies. In the grander scheme, life is a precious element that should be treated with respect. Every life you take, you’re impacting multiple others. To write a human life off as mere practice… (TUTS) ..I’m afraid that you have no soul, my friend. The arcane arts have a higher order in mind, everything we do matters – here and in the afterlife.”
“Look, obviously this isn’t working out. I’m going to contact the Pirate and see whether he can help me out.”
“Fine. If you feel that’s the best way to handle this.”
The Ninja calls the Pirate and beseeches his assistance.
“Dude. Tom and I were about to get our Ultimate Fantasy D&D on, but then we realised we wanted toast and we can’t open this freakin’ jam jar. Want in?”
Cute twist. 😛
Thanks! 😀