Achievement Unlocked: Almost 30

This isn’t Suddenly 30 (side note: I’ve never really ever understood the fuss about Jennifer Garner – no, I haven’t watched Alias – but if I were to express my relative lack of care for anything Jennifer Garner-related in the form of a Sesame Street character, I would have to name it Shruggleupagus), but the way my mind works sometimes it really does feel like I am struggling to adapt to this whole ‘adult’ mindset thing that’s supposedly forced upon you because you’re no longer a teenager.

If anything, I was far more serious between ages 16-25, so much angst, unresolved feelings and various attempts at justifying some sort of moral absolutism that I would live by for no reason other than believing that holding myself accountable for every act and drawing a very definitive and sharp line in the sand to say what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ would somehow equal knowledge or insight that I was previously incapable of acquiring.

Well, what a load of cock-and-bull that ended up being. What do I know at age 29? Exactly how little I really know about, well, anything of importance at all. But when I start thinking about what is considered and deemed ‘important’ is where this whole thought pattern devolves into relativism. A lot of it, I guess, boils down to choice.

Like how I chose last night to watch Dragon Tiger Gate on blu-ray. Why? Because it’s a brainless, stylish action flick and it was my birthday. Also, seeing Donnie Yen playing a teenager with a face that is 80% fringe, 20% features is unintentionally hilarious. Also unintentionally hilarious are the flashback sequences where the kids playing the now teenage characters have exactly the same hairstyles and wardrobes, almost like they haven’t changed clothes in 10 years.

By the time I complete this entry, my birthday will have officially ended. Sadface? Hardly. It’s nice to have an extra bit of attention paid to me on a particular day, but it doesn’t really worry me none. For instance, I worked today. It wasn’t an easy shift by any means, we had a lot of work to do and I ended up having a really productive shift in the end. If I haven’t said it enough already, I should probably mention yet again how awesome my co-workers are.

Earlier in the week, I caught up with the co-founder of this blog and his wife after their return from their trip around the good old US-of-A. Now I’m thinking I need to get over there at some point in the future, if only to see New York and San Francisco. It was great catching up with them both, as so much of the flow of conversation winds up in the gutter, it makes you appreciate the fact that there are others out there just as depraved and desensitized to offensive material as you are.

Segue: a friend of mine one day ages ago wanted to show me the perils of online date sites, so he set up a empty account with OkCupid, I received an email wishing me happy birthday that read, “Happy Birthday, Chocofucknug88”. Brilliant randomness.

I’ve slowly (and I mean S L O W L Y) been making my way through Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I’m glad I didn’t write this series off, although I have to say, the first episode was very trying. I’m almost halfway through now, and besides the excessive amounts of testosterone and bad acting on display, it manages to actually turn it around.

Among other things I’ve managed to watch this week, Let The Bullets Fly, a very random Chinese film that shoves action/comedy down your gullet for just about the entire time it runs. It works in many ways, but a lot of the comedic writing plays on the characteristics of Mandarin, throwing out puns and quips that convey a type of beat to the language I’ve not encountered before. I was only capable of this level of comprehension because one of my brother’s friends watching it with us has studied Mandarin.

Back to the subject of this post – 29 brings about all sorts of nonsense, kind of like a notion that you should act on things just because you’re almost 30. Well, I care about that idea as much as I care about Shruggleupagus. The “It’s Just Another Year” theory applies to me because my life, my path, my private coup d’etat of the self is still all very much a work in progress. If I could somehow coup de tete the coup d’etat, I imagine that would result in all manner of chaotic exclamations like, “I know everything about myself ever!” and “I’m going to build a zeppelin to live in, because you don’t have to purchase real estate in the sky!”

Actually, that second idea isn’t too bad. Floating around the city and by way of pure presence, rising the stress levels of everyone on the streets that witnesses me floating around in my sky home, as if I were some sort of evil mastermind plotting away nigh on high, patiently waiting to deliver unto the masses my grand scheme of anarchy and ill repute.

Well, I would actually just float around in my leisurely hours and make it rain lollies on busy street corners. So next time you’re standing on the corner of Flinders and Swanston and a jelly baby smacks you square on the noggin, you know who to thank. I am also hoping now that by way of involuntary synthesis you will all be watching the skies for random lolly drops. I call this the “I’mma Make it Rain Family Mix” manifest. There’s no way that could end badly, right?

In closing this entry, I shall post a disclaimer of sorts regarding my upcoming celebrations – I hereby declare that I absolve myself of all acts – either of a spoken or behavioural nature – that have yet to occur between the hours of 6pm and 6am of Saturday, August 20 and Sunday, August 21. Any matters that arises pre or post this 12-hour window is fair game. However, but my level of comprehension or memory of said acts post the allocated timeslot may be less than satisfactory.