An Unbalanced Post

It’s tough sitting back down at the keyboard after two weeks worth of events and trying to recall everything that happened.

The reason I missed a post last week is very sad.

My grandfather passed away last Thursday.

This news hit me very hard because I never got a chance to say goodbye in person.

My last communication with him was via Skype at my younger sister’s birthday party in July when he asked when I was coming home and was trying to figure out exactly what Skype was. His last words to me were – “come home, you bloody kangaroo.”

My grandfather, Giuseppe Sardi, was the last surviving grandparent I had. The connection that I had to a living, breathing testament to my collective family history is now lost. A generation has passed, and a new one shall take its place.

What remains is many good memories of all my grandparents. Nan and Pa on my mother’s side, Nonna and Nonno on my father’s side.
I’ve never wholly embraced my Italian heritage, but it’s an undeniable part of who I am. My Italian grandparents were the proof.

On my mother’s side, they were the connection to an Australia that is now long gone.
They lived in a Melbourne that was still finding its feet while trying to walk proudly.

So there has been many lengthy Skype, chat sessions and email threads with family over the past two weeks. And lengthy talks with friends here too.
I don’t even know where to start thanking people, so I’ll just thank everyone that has taken the time to listen to me over the past two weeks.

Rewind to August 31. A different kind of farewell. My friend Tets has headed back to Canada for an unspecified amount of time. He’ll be back in Kyoto sooner rather than later, no doubt. But he’s been involved in many adventures that I’ve had in and around Kyoto so far, so it’s a little sad that more adventures have to wait. I was in a rather deflated mood at Tets’ farewell, as the news of my grandfather being unwell had reached me earlier that day.

I saw Man of Steel. Admittedly, the release date wasn’t too far removed from the rest of the world, unlike Star Trek: Into Darkness. I enjoyed Man of Steel.
It wasn’t perfect, by any means, but it was solid. I can understand why some Superman enthusiasts may not have enjoyed it also.

That last paragraph kind of sums up my enthusiasm at the moment. These words aren’t proving to be easy to write and I’m getting more and more sentimental and nostalgic the more I try to force them out.

So I’ll write about things that have distracted me lately.

Firstly, the well-documented friendship I’ve built with a barista at a cafe right near my work continues to present interesting new anecdotes. I don’t think this next picture can be topped, though, for ridiculously cute – both in design and the spelling mistake.

I mean, just look at that. It was almost too cute to drink. And it brought a smile to my face.

There’s another store called Mr. Bean right near my work. They make soy-based pancakes and ice-cream. For 250Y ($3AUD or thereabouts) you can get one of these monstrosities of matcha and vanilla flavoured goodness.

Another distraction that was more than welcome was performing stand-up comedy one night last week. The last time I stood up and told stories and jokes was the Christmas Special that Alex De Petro and I performed. I have half a show that I’m sitting on, completely new and rough material, that I never had the chance to perform due to my move to Japan. And I’m writing over here every day, meaning there’s all sorts of things I’ve noticed and wanted to talk about.

My first set didn’t completely suck, but it was the roughest five minutes of comedy I’ve taken part in. The crowd, international and nationals, was easily the most disinterested crowd I’ve ever faced. And this threw me off. Like, really badly. I was grasping at straws for what to say next. People were talking, or saying things to me directly, to which I’d respond and lose track. The jokes that worked I’ll keep. The ones that didn’t, I’ll toss aside and look for new material.

So I took a breather. Composed myself. Some 20-25 mins later I came back on. Someone made a crack in the audience about getting ready to put this on YouTube due to the impending failure that was about to unfold.

Absolutely blitzed the second set. I’m certain I went for at least 10-15 mins. Went with material I knew, adapted it, changed it slightly. Added some new stuff in there that I just had a good feeling about. Crowd ate it up. Bar staff and manager practically begged me to come back next month. It felt great.

Writing, like grieving, is a process. There’s an attachment to something that evokes a response. We gradually shift it out of our system, either by reflecting or crafting word after word and hoping that it captures exactly how you felt at a particular moment in time, or does justice to the memory of the person you’ve lost.

What I learned from my all-too-brief performance last week is that no matter what, it takes time to get it right. And if there’s any hesitation, doubt or pause in these moments, then your aim will never be true or your goal wholly accomplished. It’s taken me three days just to get these words out.

An adequate metaphor for my own current understanding of my writing process is that of a red fire hydrant. Sometimes it has been left on and there’s water flying everywhere while kids jump around and dance and act all crazy. Sometimes it has been left on and there’s an old man shaking his finger at it in disapproval saying “Well, that’s just a waste.” but not actually doing anything to fix it. And sometimes it’s just a red fire hydrant.

In closing this entry, there’s another bar story to tell. This week I headed to a bar called Omoigawa. It’s a great bar. A little expensive (if $8.50 for a gin & tonic is expensive) by Kyoto standards. There’s one thing any man that goes to this bar has to be wary of. If you plan on going to this bar, you must feel comfortable with your sexuality – regardless of preference – you must feel comfortable. Greg had mentioned that I should be careful when I go to this bar.

The owner, Taichi-san, is one of the more flamboyant people I’ve met in my life. When he offered me a business card, or served me a drink, he would literally twist or spin before placing it in front of me. And I don’t even know where he pulled the business card from, to be honest. There was a spin and then there was a business card in front of me.

He’s quite the bar host too. Regardless of who was at the bar, he’d go from person to person and find something to compliment them on. Then he’d regale everyone with the mishaps of dating, lost loves and missed opportunities.

My friend and I were just about to leave before we struck up a conversation with the two women next to us and Taichi-san himself. At one point in the conversation, Taichi-san asked what my type of woman is.

I get asked this question a lot. I honestly don’t know. I’ve always valued chemistry over any other feature. Anyhow, Taichi-san felt sad for me, so he offered his hand to shake, so I obliged. Then he ran his other hand across my left cheek and chin, down my right arm to clasp my right hand in both of his and lift it up to kiss me on the knuckles. He said that while I didn’t know my type, he was sure I would find it soon.

Later this week, I had a lesson with a student who is super enthusiastic. Like, you could sit there and say ‘bread’ for 50 minutes and he’d come out thinking he’d just learned how to critically analyse a David Lynch film. Anyhow, the aim of the lesson was getting contact information off people. SO I gave him all the polite ways of doing so, but said that it is also context-based, like if you meet a woman in a bar, the context changes.

My feedback for the lesson was all perfect marks. Then in the comments section – “Paul is a good teacher and a playboy.”

When I was on the train home that night, I couldn’t help but pose next to this poster in lieu of his comments.