An Abridged Version of Recent Events

A blow-by-blow account of the past few weeks of my life…

• a week spent in Melbourne with family
• stand-up comedy in Osaka
• eating all sorts of stuff that I probably shouldn’t
• drinking (but not as much as usual)
• watching Shingeki no Kyojin

So I’ll start with something I completed recently – Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) –  an anime series that had been recommended to me by just about everyone I’ve met that has any passing interest in anime. Therefore, it felt like it was something I should check out. At a very manageable 25 episodes, this series took me by surprise. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but here’s the basic premise: jump sometime into the future, and humans are under attack by Titans, large, naked humanesque beings with no genitalia who seem intent on making human hors d’oeuvres whenever they can, wherever they can.

In an attempt to save humanity from the tastebuds of the Titans, mankind creates massive walls around certain areas to keep the human race safe and surviving. Alas, our best laid plans were all for naught, as these enormous nudists prove to be capable of breaking through the outer walls and generally being quite naughty, taking any opportunity to nom on numerous nationalities lacking nomenclature.

Fare thee warned, this anime does not hold back in the tragedy stakes. From the first episode, there is bloodshed and lots of it. And it doesn’t let up. Enter our hero, Eren Jaeger, whose motivation is driven by tragic events. Eren makes a promise to kill every last Titan and his resolve is tested many, many times.

This series serves as a very interesting parallel to the political intricacies regarding Japan’s borders and its lack of military, as it’s not like they’re on exactly friendly terms with neighbouring countries at the best of times. There’s a lot of reflections on the cause, pros and cons of war here – albeit summarily presented – and the notion that to defeat monsters, we must throw away our humanity and become monsters ourselves.

Without saying anything more, I recommend this series to anyone curious enough to check it out. It’s a short, sharply-drawn story that spares no-one.

While on the topic of things being eaten, a restaurant recently opened right near my house. I’ve eaten there twice so far, and the food is not only affordable, but fresh and actually pretty damn delicious too. I call this the ‘trifecta of taste’. Here’s a sample of their wares – tofu with bonito and ponzu, deep-fried salted yams, marinated eggplant, fried okura and a lemon-drenched prawn and thin egg noodle salad. All this plus a beer for roughly $15AUD.

And now for something that should probably never have been eaten by me, but was because curiosity got the better of me. If anyone read my first trip to Japan, they may recall a photo of a burger that you could purchase at Lotteria. If it is the last thing you remember, here’s what I ate recently.

Looks great, right? And for only 500Y (A touch over $5AUD) how could I resist such a thing?

This next picture may give light to exactly why I should have resisted the urge to consume said burger.

I’m having trouble putting into words just how depressing and sad that burger looks. If Syd Barrett was holding this burger when he showed up unannounced while Pink Floyd were recording their severely-underrated album ‘Wish You Were Here’, all sympathy would’ve been directed towards the burger. It just looks like this burger gave up on life and has let itself be used as an contemporary art installation.

All that said, this burger was, surprisingly enough, actually pretty damn tasty. Not as delicious as the meal I mentioned above, but a pleasant surprise all the same.

Stand-up comedy. The week I returned from Australia, I headed to a bar in Osaka to tell some jokes at an open mic. Turns out this night is more like a nomikai (drinking/dating party) than it is about the open mic. Some jokes got laughs, many got confused looks, but most of the responses from the audience were positive. This is a good thing considering there was only four foreigners there and about 15 Japanese women with varying degrees of English ability.

On my way back to Kyoto, I heard from a friend who was at one of my local haunts, so I joined her for a drink or two. We headed to another bar after that and made plans to catch up the following Monday with a group of people. Unfortunately, that group informed me on the same night they were unavailable. So I said to my friend that we’d postpone because the two of us alone for dinner might have seemed like a date.

At this point, I should’ve realised I completely overestimated her English ability, as she swiftly responded “I cannot be your girlfriend” to which I responded, “I wasn’t asking that” but then attempting to explain this didn’t actually make things any better. Easily one of the more awkward situations I’ve found myself in. Anyhow, Monday came around, and over a drink I used Google Translate to do the talking for me. Still, it’s those awkward situations that make me work harder at improving my Japanese, so while they might not be much fun at the time, they serve as a reminder that I need to be working harder at learning Japanese.

On the topic of reminders, heading back to Melbourne made me very grateful for the family I have. Even though I hadn’t been around for a number of months, it felt like I had just left a week or two ago to me. Managed to keep the visit a surprise from my Mum, which was a nice thing to do for someone who has done so much for me. Instead of writing more about them, I’ll just post some pictures instead.

My gift to my nephew Darcy, a ninja costume…

A shot of me and my younger sister, who was kind enough to host a family BBQ while I was back. For the record, lambs and kid goats seem to feature at all D’Agostino family gatherings these days.

And the final shot is one of me and my family. Please note Darcy’s attempt at recreating classical Greek sculpture poses and/or Michelangelo’s famous picture of God reaching out to Adam.