Yuru Kyara Grand Prix – Part 3 of 3

UMMM… is the best I could do for this third entry. The reasons will become apparent as each mascot is unveiled.

おぐにん (Ogunin)

Trust me when I say that Ogunin is the most palatable of this batch of mascots, it’s not a joke based on the fact that Ogunin is a garlic clove walking around. Apparently, Ogunin is meant to represent the vital role that garlic plays in our lives and he is apparently the champion of a simpler time, an agricultural awareness advocate. Good for him. I wonder if those eyes boggle around or they’re permanently fixated on what is happening over his left shoulder.

Wait. Ogunin doesn’t even have shoulders. Do Ogunin’s arms extend out so people can embrace this clever clove? Or is Ogunin meant to parade about not knowing the warmth of human interaction? Vital questions, people.

さらまんくん (Salaman-kun)

What the fucking fuck is this thing? Grey snuggie, check. Grey finger gloves, check. Grey socks, check. Rotund creepy grey face with letterbox smile? Check. But in all seriousness… Salaman-kun is a giant salamander.

Something that looks like it would happily devour the soul of any child while it is sleeping a giant salamander does not make.

This particular pose is what really throws me off.

“Surprise! I’m a giant salamander!” is about as welcoming as the boot I would place firmly between the legs of this creepy thing if it came near me.

Or it was being arrested under suspicion of creeping around train stations. According to the translation, Salaman-kun’s dream is to become a monster.

Newsflash, you snuggie-sporting, neutral-toned, nightmare-inducing, bulbous-headed bastard… Mission accomplished.

のびぞーくん (Nobizo-kun)

 

 Hey kids, want to be pushed on a swing by this egg-shaped barber?!

No. I didn’t think so. I’m running out of vocabulary. That’s where these things have pushed me. To my brink. Just… Why?

Here’s the translation…

“Cut only club affiliation” is a charismatic stylist of France return. 
I went back to deliver a laugh over Japan, including the Chiba Prefecture. 
It would also be quite naughty, but good child I do not imitate!

What’s naughty? Why would you want to imitate good children? Not only are you a Japanese haircut mascot, you’re also French.
I.
Don’t.
Even.

リークル (Rikuru)

Yup. This is where everything starts to get a bit pear-shaped. Just like that all-too-unfortunate skintight lycra that hugs areas of the body far too tightly. Rikuru hails from Fukui. Fukui Velodrome, that is.

Yep. A velodrome has its very own mascot. One that you would hope is getting regular relief from this suit should it ever hope to have children.

On second thought…

No.

Keep this peddling pixie and his pronounced prostate purposefully pacified.

Now we’ve hit the point of no return. This is where I’m not even going to offer comment due to the complete lack of reason, rhyme or logic for the next three mascots. I will give you the names and translations, however.

ＳＵＮ★チャゴ (Sun Chago)

“Affiliation: Daito Sanmeitsu shop union”
Daito Sanmeitsu official character. Suddenly in my life! 30 years old. Height 180cm, weight 80kg. Assault to participate in events around the country: feat. For dad, the sun god is always sunny day to appear. ~ Na want sister or brother.

ナン子ちゃん (Nankochan)

“Affiliation, Inc. Happinet Pictures unit” in order to convey the splendor of Indian cinema, it came doing it across the sea? Nan chan. Is guided to a theater blockbuster “kit, go well”, and GET and honey apple of my favorite food a reward! And to extend the stay period, the efforts of the DVD announcement now.

手賀沼のうなきちさん (It’s such Kichi of Teganuma)

“Affiliation: Abiko” look is a grandfather, but age unknown. Natural, nature elusive. It has a den the Teganuma, stroll through Abiko city, you are chatting with fish and birds during the day. If you touch him, it seems to be something skyrocketing.

OK. This just about brings this series of posts to a screeching halt. But there’s one last mascot to show you. Actually, there’s a veritable boatload of mascots to show you. However, I don’t have the time, patience or willpower to discuss any more of these freaky furries.

So if you would like to look at more of these mascots, by all means visit the website – HERE – there’s at least 1,000 entrants, I just handpicked roughly 30 or so. Hours of entertainment/horror/comedy awaits you.

The last, but certainly not least, mascot is…

みなみちゃん＆りゅうのしん (Shin Minami Andrew)

A creepy fish chasing around a teenage girl…

Yup.

“Street Station south exit Togoshi park shopping party affiliation of relief” character of the street … and relieved. Shin Liu to make mischief at the mall. In clunker Minami to try to shopping district be relieved to put a stop to it …. Chase of two continues today.

I heart Japan – the food, the people, the culture, anime, Japanese cinema and the unhinged insanity of some aspects of living here – but sometimes, just sometimes… What the what, Japan? What the what.

Thank you all so much for reading these three nutty entries. Returning to regular programming in the near future.