In the space of one week, two of my favourite US comedians just happened to be touring the country. The result? My laugh quota for at least two weeks was filled, so now I must remain silent during any potentially funny encounters. To surpass my laugh quota would mean that I would run out of laughter for at least three times the length of time that I have already used up.
It’s been five years since I saw Demetri last with his show ‘These Are Other Jokes’, at which my younger brother and I – it seemed – were the only two laughing ourselves stupid from start to end. After his latest show, we were fortunate enough to meet him after purchasing his book, ‘This is a Book’. We chatted to him briefly, he signed our book and we had a photo taken. Demetri’s show was very well thought out and performed. He did, however, use a few pieces of material from his TV series, ‘Important Things…’ but the balance of old and new material was handled well. I’ve been reading ‘This is a Book’ and if there’s something I’ve learned about reading a funny book…
Do. Not. Read. It. In. Public.
You read. You laugh. You realise that you’re laughing to yourself in public. This makes you attempt to stifle your laugh, but it’s already too late. Now you have to make a conscious decision to try not to laugh at anything funny in the book, yet the book remains funny. So you’ll inevitably keep trying to work on an acceptable chuckle or giggle that will not draw attention to yourself. Or you’ll wind up with a slight smirk on your face the entire time you’re reading it that just makes you look kind of like a sexual predator. But the oh-so-prying eyes of Johnny and Judy Public have already cast their judgmental glances your way and have since noticed several changes to your Front Access Cranium Expresser in such a finite amount of time, making them believe that you are either mentally deranged or have some sort of random nervous tick after that time you saved a small child from a fireworks display gone wrong.
Something I forgot to mention last week – karma.
While walking to work, I found a $10 note lying on the ground. I picked it up and noticed a woman walking about 50m ahead of me, so I chased after her and asked her whether she had dropped it. She responded, “No, it’s all yours. Buy yourself a drink.” Instead of taking her advice, I donated the money to cancer research, as well as a further $10 of my own.
I’ve never really put a lot of stock in the notion behind karma – do good and good will happen to you, do bad and bad will happen to you – whatever happened to taking responsibility for your choices and facing the consequences? Furthermore, whatever happened to doing a good deed just because, well, it makes you (and usually another person) feel good? I mean, cleaning the front of a vending machine is a good act, but the vending machine doesn’t care. It just takes your money and most of the time gives you what you want.
Why are some of us (notice I didn’t use ‘we’ or ‘all’) so hellbent on hoping that we get something in return for our actions? I won’t launch into a rant about utilitarianism or anything like that, because Shiny Happy People Holding Hands is a reality we’ll never encounter. Also, attempt to read the rest of this blog entry with that link playing in the background. Non sequitur synchronicity!
While on the topic of non sequitur – on my break at work, purchasing a felafel kebab, I had this conversation with the older woman serving me…
Woman: Are you finished for the day, or just on a break?
Me: Just on a break, unfortunately.
Woman: Well, we all have to work, don’t we?
Me: That we do.
Woman: Yes. My ex-partner just found out that I’m now seeing his best friend. It shouldn’t happen that way. BLAH!
Me: (LENGTHY PAUSE) Oh, well. He was going to find out at some stage, no?
Woman: Yes. That is true. Oh, well.
So after digesting the comic stylings of Demetri, seeing Louis CK for the first time in Australia was part excitement, part dreading with fear that he would recycle material. Thankfully, he got up on stage for just a bit over an hour and put on one of the best, if not the best stand up set I’ve ever seen. There’s something refreshingly honest about his approach to comedy, he makes no apologies and never counts himself as above the peculiarities of everyday life that he is openly critiquing. There was even a time at which he was about to lead into a routine/bit and he stopped himself, asking the audience why the fuck we would care about a 3-month old skit. All I hope is that he comes back out here sooner rather than later.
After the show, I encountered probably the most awkward conversation of all-time. So, Louis CK closed his show talking about sex and how each gender perceives sex, especially in the post-coital phase. Anyhow, as we’re walking out of the theatre – I’ll call him Idiot – Idiot says to the attractive woman that he was on a date with, “So, is what he said true?” at which point, the attractive woman was not comfortable discussing this, responded with, “Oh, I dunno. It depends, I guess.” But Idiot continued, “But I mean, like, from your personal experience?” Attractive woman was nice enough to humor him and said, “I’ll need a few more drinks before I’m comfortable enough to talk about this.”
While I was hearing this conversation, I was tempted to turn around to the guy and say, “Dude, seriously? That’s what you took away from that? You’re going with that after watching an awesome show to try and get laid? You might as well do yourself a favour and mail your dick and balls to someone who might actually have a clue.” Yet I refrained, because I don’t really have any right to interfere, lest I want to present myself as an arrogant know-it-all… Even if I was right.
If you’re not really that familiar with Louis CK’s work, if you would like to see how much he doesn’t care if he offends the general populace, I’ll divert your attention to this. I’ll understand if you need to take a break from reading this to digest what you just saw.
To close out this entry, I’m going to discuss the one topic a straight male should never openly discuss – musicals.
Now, if you want to running around on rooftops espousing just how lame and gay musicals are, go right ahead. You’re entitled to do so, should you feel the need to defend your masculinity. Please ensure that you will not be casually sauntering from rooftop to rooftop, though, meekly yelping ‘Musicals are gay’, you need to make it loud and large and draw all sorts of attention to yourself… Kind of like a musical does. Bam.
If you hate musicals, fine, I’m not judging. It just means that you also hate The Lion King. And who hates The Lion King, really?
So a few weeks ago, a friend of mine decided that I haven’t watched enough musicals. But when we caught up during the week, of the five that she presented me, I had seen three.
One of them was Annie. Now, I hated this film as a kid because it was my younger sis’ favourite movie, so I only had to watch it a bazillion times. But who doesn’t love this song? And Albert Finney as Daddy Warbucks? Inspired casting.
But the film that we ended up watching was Hairspray. For obvious reasons, I hadn’t gone out of my way to watch this film. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t hate the film. By all accounts, I probably should have. John Travolta did slip out of character on more than one occasion, but eh. After a few sarcastic comments, I kept my opinions to myself and continued to watch the film. Then it happened. Christopher Walken appeared on screen. I was both baffled and excited about the fact that C-Walk was in this film. Perhaps it was the film’s saving grace for me personally, but there’s are many reasons to watch Hairspray. Amanda Bynes’ character is basically jailbait – pigtails, lollipops and minimal dialogue throughout. The social commentary aspect of the film is just as relevant and important too. And it’s got quite a cast involved – James Marsden, Allison Janney, Michelle Pfeiffer and Queen Latifah – to name but a few.
So after coming away from another musical that I enjoyed, I was conflicted. Here I was, being subjected to all that my hetero-maleness should be fighting against, yet ultimately helpless because I couldn’t help but enjoy it. That said, it’s not the greatest musical I’ve seen, but worth checking out.
I was even presented with the opportunity to reclaim my manhood (at my own expense) while I was walking past two prostitutes on my way back to my car. Needless to say, I hurriedly got into my car and headed home.
I hate the Lion King ((born to rule crap) – a lot ! It’s got nothing to do with my masculinity, though.
Boo! Hiss! Lion King is awesome! You didn’t weep when Mufasa died?
I can see where you’re coming from, though, established birthright over ability to rule, etc, if you want to get into the more political aspects of the story.
I just figured that was the best example. I could’ve gone with West Side Story, but that just might have confused people, what with all the clicking and the dancing.
holy shit, Louis’ bit on the kid he hated but used to play with… just killed me. (The whole show was fucking brilliant though, really.)
Haha, yeah! That bit was hilarious. And yes, the show was amazing – my cheeks were hurting from all the laughter.