If there’s one piece of advice I can pass on about Osaka to any visitors who plan on adventuring in or around the area, it’s that there are actually two Namba train stations.
Osaka Namba and Namba Nankai. To make things just a touch more confusing, you can actually walk via a multilevel shopping centre to one or the other.
My reason for travelling to Namba Nankai was simple. I’d read about a maid cafe that had opened up sometime in the last year that I was curious about checking out. The reasons I was curious will become apparent soon enough.
<insert ridiculous amount of time spent trying to find the damn place here>
/bypass the completely idiotic attempts at reading a damn map/
(briefly mention the odd dude standing on the corner holding a sign for a restaurant who looked like he’d either just woken up or had no actual idea how he’d wound up holding a sign on a street corner in Osaka, let alone the reasons behind him needing to do such a thing)
And so I discovered the Maidreamin Namba store, sitting on the fifth floor of a building that seems to have a number of serious businesses located there also. It does seem a little out of place.
The lift doors arrive and I’m greeted by a cute voice recording of the very start of the Super Mario Bros. theme – dada da da-da da… da.
One point for nerdiness – check.
As is the standard with a lot of maid cafes, photos are a big no-no.
Negative one point for not being able to take photos.
Several points for incredibly cute girls in over-the-top maid costumes.
The walls of Maidreamin’s Namba store are an off-white with pastel greens, pinks and blues of 8-bit art so randomly placed that you could probably spend an hour looking really closely at the walls to try and figure out what was going on. The only downside of doing such a thing is that looking like a complete freak when you’re already in a maid cafe does not bode well for how strangers would perceive your levels of sanity. Hanging from the roof are brightly lit green, pink and blue boxes that not only change colours and images when hit hard enough, they also make the sound effect of a brick being destroyed by Super Mario.
I feel like purchasing one of these things and having it near me at all times. Should anyone ever want to ask a question, they need to hit the box continually and once I am pleased with the amount of times it has changed colours and I have heard the sound effect I will instruct said person they may now ask a question.
Several hundred points for nerdiness – check.
The main rub with maid cafes is that you have to pay a cover charge – 500Y – and that the food and drinks are generally overpriced for what you get. It’s a bit of a necessary evil, unfortunately. I decided to lash out and purchase the lunch set.
My omurice (rice and sauce inside an omelette) came with a nyan cat face drawn on it.
More nerd points than you can shake a meme at – check.
For every drink you purchase at Maidreamin, there’s a ritual of sorts that needs to be carried out. My lack of Japanese made this ritual particularly trying for the maid involved.
Essentially, you make the shape of a heart using your hands. You then repeat the words said by the maid while moving hand-heart from left-to-right across your chest. Once you have done this, you push the hand-heart forward and say ‘kyu!’ which apparently supercharges the drink to make it really delicious.
Because I was drinking a coke, I’m not sure how well this ritual impacted the taste of my drink, but it was certainly the most amped up I’ve been about the prospect of drinking a coke.
The bonus of the lunch set is having your photo taken with a maid. So now I carry around in my wallet a photo of me with a very cute Japanese maid doing a nyan pose with pink posca drawings of love hearts and a cat face. If I haven’t shown you and you read this, be sure to ask next time you see me.
The last thing I’ll mention about Maidreamin Namba is the inclusion of a small trampoline.
I know what you’re saying, “Whoop-dee-freakin’-do, a small trampoline.”
But this is no ordinary trampoline, you see.
This small trampoline, when jumped upon, emits the sound of a maid making the Super Mario jump noise.
NERDGASM POINTS EXPLOSION.
I can’t even begin to put a novelty price on an item like that. If everyone had to start their day by jumping on one of these things, people would be at least 10% happier about starting their days, I swear.
Coming down from the Maidreamin Namba store visit meant spending the rest of my day casually browsing around Osaka with no real goals in mind. A semi-decent coffee at a cafe called Arabiya.
Before meeting Mika out of the front of Space Station, I headed back to Tako Tako King for dinner. Takashi was pleased to see me and I found out that his nickname is PP – or Party People, the ridiculously cute Miko also remembered me from the day before and was curious to find out more about me and I talked about video games at length with the bartender Hideo. Sometimes I honestly wonder whether I’m living in the right country.
Met up with Mika and we made our way to Osaka Salon. It’s a very cool place. I’d recommend checking it out if you get the chance. It’s a little bit out of the way of the main Osaka hub, but it’s very laid back and relaxed. I almost instantaneously befriended Toshiki, the bartender, who was loving the opportunity to practice his English.
Jean From France arrived about an hour later and was very surprised to see me. It was awesome catching up with him and seeing how he’s travelling along these days. We conspired to make a plan to surprise Greg in Kyoto.
Mika’s artwork was quite intriguing, minimalist in form but toying with themes and the construct of the female form. Quite cool. I think she got a bit peeved that I wasn’t paying much attention to her and decided it was time for us to go to Space Station. I said my goodbyes after downing a strong drink way too fast.
Before arriving at Space Station, I gave my blog details and email address to Takashi and the crew at Tako Tako King.
Video games, a bit more drinking and the last train home. Osaka has one hell of a nightlife, I tell ya.
Next time: One of the polar opposites I mentioned in an earlier post!