The Running Man

First things first, another panorama shot of the Kyoto I see every day that I walk to work. Remember to click on it to see it in its full glory, people.

Take me to the river...

On the topic of glory, I reacquainted myself with the glory of potentially the greatest film of all-time, The Running Man (1987) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But before that, here’s a ridiculously oversized beer I consumed during the week.

BEER!

Back to The Running Man. Here’s seven reasons why The Running Man is potentially the greatest film of all-time. In no particular order, and I swear I could probably find at least seven more reasons why I believe this, here goes:

1. It was directed by Paul Michael Glaser
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Who the mcnugget is Paul Michael Glaser?” Sure, he also directed Kazaam and The Air Up There (both of which have some connection to basketball) which were both terrible, terrible movies. Shaquille O’Neal as a genie and Kevin Bacon as a former basketball star? Come now.
But I put forth this argument, The Running Man was directed by Starsky. Yes, that Starsky of Starsky & Hutch. How many directors can claim to be that pimpin’ or even come close to that swagger? Zero. That’s how many. No-one else could’ve directed The Running Man.
2. Peak Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Running Man and Predator came out in the same calendar year – 1987. If that isn’t peak Schwarzenegger, I don’t know what is. It was that sweet midpoint between The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Arnie’s one-liners were never better than those in 1987, even in the often-reviled but ridiculously fun Last Action Hero that came a few years later. If 1987 Arnie dialog was the epitome, The Running Man was his magnum opus. Don’t believe me? Watch that screen!
3. Written by Richard Bachman
Who is Richard Bachman? Why, just Stephen King’s sci-fi pseudonym. That’s right, Stephen King knew how god-damned awesome this story was he didn’t even want to claim that it came from him. That’s the sign of a man who knows when his work not only speaks for itself, but ascends everything anyone has done ever. Inventions? Pfft. Science? Ha! GIve me Adidas-branded bright yellow jumpsuits and death as entertainment.
4. The Dance Numbers were Choreographed by Paula Abdul
Truly the definition of taking two steps forward and two steps back, Paula decided to launch her solo career after choreographing the dance numbers in The Running Man. She should have realised that her career was only going downhill after this moment and could’ve been remembered for being a part of something great. Oddly enough, she wound up on a TV show not too unlike The Running Man, where failure is a highlight reel and success is forgotten about shortly after the show is over.
5. It was Mick Fleetwood’s First Role in a Film
Mick Fleetwood had never been in a film before The Running Man and has only appeared sparingly since then, knowing that nothing could ever top that initial role. He even played the leader of the resistance against the powers that be, whose entire focus was derailing the telecast of one TV program. I imagine that Mick Fleetwood just walked around on set the entire time saying, “I’m Mick fucking Fleetwood” if anyone asked him any questions or the director asked him to do a second take of any scene.
6. The Credits Song was a Collaboration Between Harold Faltermeyer and John Parr
Two of the most iconic names in ’80s movie soundtracks collaborated on the credits song for The Running Man. If that doesn’t blow your damn mind, you need to get a new mind – stat – then once that mind has been sufficiently blown, find another mind that knows who Harold Faltermeyer and John Parr are. If you don’t know who either of these artists are, I feel sorry for you. Here are some links – PARR and FALTERMEYER – and here is a link to the epic collaboration – WATCH. One thing I don’t understand is Parr’s insistence on the video clips seeming like he was actually part of the movie itself.
7. No less than two US Governors starred in The Running Man
I’m not sure if this was planned or not, but 1987 seemed to be the Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared in every film together. In 1998, Jesse Ventura became the Governor of Minnesota. In 2003, Arnie became the Governor of California. I’m imagining now that there’s some subclause in the state voting laws of Minnesota and California whereby if you appeared in both Predator and The Running Man you are entitled to serve as Governor.
If you have not seen this film, watch it. Yesterday. Or on YouTube.

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